Awe is the  feeling of reverential respect coupled with fear or wonder, there couldn’t be a more perfect word to capture my feelings as I stare in awe at Meea.  Wonder, amazement and fear are all there.  After the struggle I went through to have a child now that she is here the fear of parenting wrong is very real.  Both my husband and I are adopted, my family found me in an orphanage in South Korea, a female infant with a cleft lip, I was not one of “awe” for my birth parents.  I am one of 6 kids, smack in the middle.  4 boys and 2 girls, 4 adopted, 2 biological.  My parents wanted a big family, so when I was married there was no question for me, of course I wanted kids.  But life had other plans.  My husband and I couldn’t conceive.  After many years trying, lots of tests and procedures it seemed adoption was the future route for our family.  Initially we wanted to adopt an embryo so I could experience pregnancy. 8 years later, we have our miracle. 
Meea, she came to us from an egg donor not an embryo. Having a mixed race baby was of utmost importance to my husband and I.  There were no available mixed raced embryos.  However, there was a young Korean American student, donating eggs to pay for her education. 5 of the eggs took, I only used 2. There are 3 remaining embryo’s we hope to make available for an open adoption.  This is my way to have a “large” family for Meea 
Awesome is loud but awe is quiet.  Listen to your heart and you will stay on course no matter the twists of fate.